The Soul Mate Fallacy: Must Read

There are seven billion people in the world, and you believe that there's just that one person somewhere who is the perfect person for you. You are looking to find him or her. You believe in soul mate that there's somebody who will complement you perfectly. Somebody who shares the same personality traits, temperament, social orientations, futuristic goals and spiritual pursuits, moreover, someone with whom disagreements, divergence of opinions and views will not be issues to contend with.



The belief in soul mate is reinforced by a belief in preordained marriage partner. Your pastor says your husband is on the way and you should hold out steadfastly cos you will meet him/her someday. When he comes he will stay and never let go. That even your nags would sound like Natalie Maria Cole's ballad to his ears. He won't make a face about your poor culinary skills, even your snoring would be a great lullaby for sleeping. Such perfect unions are often written and read in novels.



Can anyone complement you perfectly?



Psychologists state that the belief that a soul mate exist is an unrealistic expectation. No snowflakes are exactly alike. No two persons are exactly alike or are perfectly-complementary in every way. Everyone is different, only with their uniqueness and individual differences they can be able to make a good match with other people. Your strength offsets the weakness in your partner and vice versa.



Great relationships are achieved and worked out, they are not something we chance upon. You have to work towards it. It is like trying to keep fit physically, you need to exercise and maintain a fitness regimen. Building a stable relationship requires being realistic, appreciating each other, and also seeing disagreements as an invitation to reach agreement on differing individual standpoints not as an incompatibility pointer.



Don't let the soul mate fallacy lead you to miss out on the opportunity of building a strong relationship just because you are hoping that someday you will meet that special person who will be your "twin lover". Soul mates are to be made not to be found. You can start from yourself.