Worried TILB Reader Needs Your Advice.... Urgently

Hello Laila, 

I have known this guy since 2007, when I was in my first year in the University. Then he was posted to manage one of their company's branch in the same town that I did my NYSC. We started a relationship. 

Barely 3 months into the relationship, he got another posting to Onitsha. But asked me to hold on for him, promising that nothing would ever change what we share, and that once he is settled in Onitsha- I would start visiting. 

We continued with the relationship but after visiting him a couple of times, things changed. He stopped communicating and so many other changes followed suit. We gave each other break for like 2 years. Only for him to suddenly ask me to come visit him one day. Mind you, I still love this guy. 

I arrived and after looking at him, I noticed a mark on one of his fingers - as if he just took off his wedding ring. I was so disturbed, I had to systematically ask one of his friends when we got home. It was his friend that opened up to me about my guy’s marriage to a lady and that the marriage is blessed with a child. He also told me that his wife is based in a neighbouring state (where she works) and visits often. I am 29 and he is 36 years old…the only son of his parents. 

I broke up with him after learning about his marriage but we remained friends. 

A few years later, he lost his wife - who now had 3 children for him. Actually, he lost his dad and wife within 3 months. And on each occasion, he called me immediately to tell me about his loss. Now, he wants me back in his life - as a wife. I too had gotten married within these years but lost my own husband…our marriage lasted for less than two years. I don’t have any child for my late husband. 

The issue now is that this guy and myself keep having issues - as if he is not too sure of himself. We gave each other some space for some months and he called me recently to apologize for his mistakes, claimed that the reason behind his attitude towards me is because he is an outcast (OSU). Please advise me on how to handle this matter. Do I continue with him or do I move on with my life? I am a professional while he is a manager with a private firm.