Frankly Speaking With Jola Sotubo: 10 things Senate should criminalize instead of social media

The ridiculousness of the anti-social media bill can’t be overemphasized, and it’s unbelievable that lawmakers in a country plagued with as many problems as Nigeria can take the time to come up with such a preposterous idea in 2015.

The Nigerian Senate is desperately looking for laws to make and things to criminalize.

This is why they have decided to attach a two-year prison term to speaking your mind via social media.

The bill, which is meant to “Prohibit Frivolous Petitions and Other Matters Connected Therewith”, reads:

“Where any person through text message, tweets, WhatsApp or through any social media posts any abusive statement knowing same to be false with intent to set the public against any person and group of persons, an institution of government or such other bodies established by law shall be guilty of an offence and upon conviction, shall be liable to an imprisonment for two years or a fine of N2,000,000.00 or both fine and imprisonment.”

The ridiculousness of this bill can’t be overemphasized, and it’s unbelievable that lawmakers in a country plagued with as many problems as Nigeria can take the time to come up with such a preposterous idea in 2015.

It’s obvious that the Nigerian Senate is in desperate need of ideas on laws to pass and things to criminalize so, out of the goodness of my heart, I have decided to help them out.

Here are 10 things the Senate can criminalize and focus on instead of social media:

1. Marital Rape: Despite the fact that it’s 2015, a man can still rape his wife in Nigeria and claim that she gave lifelong consent when she agreed to marry him. A woman gives her consent to loving and being loved by a man forever not to being abused and violated by him.

2. Police Brutality: Nigerian Police officers are notorious for harassing citizens and have even claimed innocent lives in this process. Soldiers of the Nigerian Army are not left out. This epidemic must be addressed.

3. Corruption: Corruption has plagued Nigeria for decades and effectively brought the country to its knees yet it is still being treated lightly. On April 30, 2015, a Federal High Court in Benin sentenced Michael Igbinedion, a younger brother to the former Governor of Edo State, Lucky Igbinedion, to six years imprisonment with the option of a N1 million fine after he was accused of laundering N25 billion! Ridiculous, just ridiculous.

4. Homosexual rape: According to Nigeria’s laws, a man cannot rape another man. Hello aunties and uncles in the Senate, this is 2015, please do the right thing and amend this 1702 law.

5. Woman-on-man rape: Yes women can rape men. The rest of the world has realized this now. It’s time for Nigeria to catch up.

6. Child rape: The rape of children is still being called “defilement” in Nigeria and is being punished like a mere misdemeanour instead of a felony. In 2012, a Magistrates Court in Benin, Edo State sentenced 39-year-old Saturday Udoh to five years imprisonment with the option of an N80, 000 fine for the rape of a five year old girl. The rape of a child is not "defilement", it is attempted murder and should be treated as such.

7. Collection of bribes by Immigration Officers: The immigration officers at Nigeria’s airports have become a stain on the country with their shameless begging for bribes. The ones in Lagos are an exceptional menace. Their excesses need to be checked.

8. Excessive displays of wealth by elected officials: An elected official who had no known source of income before getting into office should not be allowed to flaunt his wealth in the faces of the populace who elected him, especially if that populace is made up of many hungry and poor people.

9. Foreign education and health care: Nigeria’s health care and education sectors have remained undeveloped because the country’s leaders have the option of going abroad for better and pricier options. If running a foreign account as a public servant is unacceptable, then seeking health care or schooling abroad (except in special cases) should also be prohibited.

10. Public Urination: In New York, urinating in public is a crime and comes with a $50 fine. Yes this is Nigeria and we’re not there yet but a girl can dream.

Dear Nigerian Senate, with all these problems and many more left unmentioned, how did you find the time to focus on something as trivial as social media?

Please, focus on the real problems that Nigerians have and do the jobs we elected you for.

Thank you.

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