Pulse Blogger: 3 reasons you need to protect your wife

One of the things that confuses the heck out of me, is how a man can think it is OK to stand back and do nothing, when his wife is being abused, pummelled and eviscerated by people he is related to.

One of the things that confuses the heck out of me, is how a man can think it is OK to stand back and do nothing, when his wife is being abused, pummelled and eviscerated by people he is related to.

This is all shades of wrong, weird and ugly. Here are three things to keep in the back of your mind, as you make your way from lily-livered male to real man, when the temptation to make nonsense of your wedding vows (“I cherish and choose you above all others”) arises:

1. Your wife is your family.

Say after me, “My wife is my family.” This thing of my wife versus my family, can only be fostered or tolerated by a totally confused man. Your wife is not just … this convenient tool that you have sex with, who cooks for you, procreates with you, stays with you when you are broke/sick/miserable, and whatever else. She is your family.

2. No woman respects a man, who leaves her hanging.

A lot of women, apparently stay in what they know is a bad marriage – because they believe they have no other options. Yet, they have such bitterness in their hearts against their husbands, because of the way their husbands have treated them. And the man is blissfully ignorant, because she's still physically present. Wait till she acquires the courage – from a supportive friend, another lover (apparently, married men are shocked to discover that their wives can have affairs) or herself – and you'll be hearing things about yourself, that you didn't even know. She will turn on you, quicker than a coin used for a 'heads or tails' decision. If you want a woman to choose you, you need to choose her.

3. Not being able to protect your wife, is not something to be proud of. Yes, seriously.

There are some women who are … interesting characters. But unless you've got a death wish, you dare not touch them or speak to them in the wrong tone, because of who they're married to or dating. If someone is able to insult or assault your wife, especially in your presence, that is something for which you should be deeply ashamed. It shows what they think of you: that you're an inconsequential weakling and that all your Tarzan “I am a real man” moves, amount to nothing. It is cruel for you to chase/woo a woman, get her to take you seriously, make her all kinds of promises and influence the dismissal of other suitors – only for you to turn out to be nothing more than a disappointment with a d*ck. I hear about some males who brag about how their wives got beaten up their (the men's) sisters, cousins, mothers and brothers. Why are you even announcing your 'weakling status' to the world? There are no words … as the Yoruba would say – o ma se oooo …

Chioma Nnani is the award-winning author of FOREVER THERE FOR YOU. The Abuja-based storyteller has been nominated twice for a UK BEFFTA (Black Entertainment Film Fashion Television and Arts) award in the category of 'Best Author', blogs at http://ift.tt/1K2J06x and can be reached on Twitter via @ChiomaNnani