Relationship Talk: “My husband and I haven’t had sex since we got married 2 years ago”

My family members and my in-laws have started asking why I haven’t gotten pregnant

Hi Bukky,

My name is Patricia. I got married to my husband two years ago and we haven’t had sex since then. My family members and my in-laws have started asking why I haven’t gotten pregnant and I don’t know what to say or do.

Please what can I do?

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Hello Patricia,

Thank you for sharing this delicate issue with me.

Sex is very important in marriage, which means a sexless relationship could be very detrimental to your married life. Good communication between married couples contributes greatly to a better sex life.

Two years is a long time for a marriage not to be consummated and apart from the purpose of having children, sex brings you both closer than ever emotionally and physically.

Have you tried discussing this issue with your husband before? It’s not just about you wanting to have sex but about him too especially if you were both sexually active before marriage. Is there a problem from the past that needs therapeutic help to overcome? You and your husband would have to stand together on this issue and find a proper solution.

Seeking help from a sex therapist would be a start and also to calm your fears and that of your relations and in-laws, it’s advisable to seek medical help too.

Remember you can’t do this all alone. Have a proper conversation with your husband; be open though the situation may be awkward for both of you. Let him know you are ready to find a solution and you’ll need to support each other all the way.

I wish you all the best.

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