Does the bride price enslave African women?

In Nigeria and some other countries in Africa, so much emphasis is being laid on bride price and the need for a man to fulfill certain obligations as custom demands before he is allowed to whisk a woman away and make her his wife.

As a matter of fact, paying the bride price is an integral part of the marriage process and a marital rite that is as important as the old institution itself. No one is trying to tamper with the aged belief of paying bride price but it would be nice for us to review the clauses attached to this tradition.

Apart from the fact that some tribes are thought to be more expensive than the others, some people have misconstrued the entire meaning of the marital rite and have abused it. Some families see it as an opportunity to sell off their children by giving the families of the intending grooms a ridiculous list of things to produce.

The bride price normally should be a token or some amount of money given to the bride’s family by the groom as the tradition demands. However, the present day society has made it a huge affair by demanding all sorts of things from the family of the groom.

This has brought us to ask if the bride price scheme is indeed an avenue for the families of the bride to milk money from the groom’s families or a way of selling off the children.

We have also noticed that some families are starting to realize the implication of taking bride price from their daughters’ partners as this gives men the right to act the way they want with the women.

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We have also heard cases where the families of the bride would not relent even after several years; in cases where they lose their daughters to death, they would request for the bodies to be returned back to them as the bride price was never paid.

The bride price degenerates to a vengeful scheme where the families do not care whether the husbands are bereaved or not.

Some men avoid paying the bride price because they do not have what the families are demanding for. Many relationships have ended as a result of the pressure laid on the men to pay up what the custom demands. Here, the bride price becomes a painful exploit.

Goods taken to the bride’s house as a part of the bride price ritual

Now looking at the lives the couples live after the bride price must have been settled and paid, one would feel sorry for the women. Men feel this gives them the right to treat these women anyhow as they claim total ownership afterwards.

They see the women as some property they could handle anyhow. In this case, the bride price is seen as a demeaning ritual that rips women of their rights.

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Also, another aspect we need to look at is the part where the bride price makes men become authoritative and talk down at the women.

Men start to live like kings and bark orders at the women as soon as they pay a huge amount of money as bride price. They basically want the women to pay them off by rendering them some services. Some of these men feel cheated and disappointed if their wives are not as chastised as they thought they were.

Virginity is another issue that drives them to anger when they think of the ridiculous amount of money they invested as bride price.

And finally, when the marriage is beyond the manageable ability of the women, they may want to opt out. Again, the bride price issue comes up as some families would request for the things they paid as bride price to be returned to them.

Now, it is possible that the people who received the bride price then might have died. This means the bride is all by herself and must free herself from that clause of marriage.

We understand that the idea of the bride price was put in place in order to make men responsible and to do things the right way; but at this point, it would be best for the society to review things and see if the payment of bride price is worth it or if it an idea that should be scrapped.

What is your take on this?

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