10 Reasons Why You Dont Have Orgasm

Only 10% of women can easily climax, As for the other 90%, Your body, mind, position and mood may lower your chances of hitting the big O, but so can other lesser-known factors.

Read on to see the 10 sneakiest reasons why you don not cum:
A large category of women have not and may never experience the euphoria of a deep seated mind blowing orgasm. These women are that way cos

1. They’re still learning how.

Just like learning to skip, it comes more easily to some people than others, it takes persistence to learn, and nobody ever really has to, but it sure is a fun game and everybody deserve a chance to try it. You can only master your body and what works for it with a long standing experience. Take it easy and be patient

2. They believe they're just not a woman who has orgasms.

There probably are women who never orgasm, ever in their whole lives. But in my experience, any woman interested enough in sex to want to have an orgasm almost certainly can, given the right context – i.e., enough activation of the accelerator and letting go of all the brakes.

3. They don’t want to.

Maybe it’s because they’ve had a long, hard day and it’s just not worth the effort. Maybe they enjoy the pleasure of arousal all on its own, without the goal of orgasm. And you know what? Maybe they’re withholding their orgasms from their partner because it takes a lot of trust to let go that much, it’s a huge gift to the partner, and it can even slingshot a couple into a deeper level of intimacy. Sometimes a relationship isn’t in a place that makes orgasm seem like a good idea.

4. They’re not “pre-heating the oven.”

It still surprises me how many women believe orgasm should just happen, more or less without effort, just through clitoral stimulation. Even the clitoris needs a sexy context; without being turned on, stimulation of the clitoris will just feel weird or even painful. That said …

5. They’re not getting enough clitoral stimulation.

Women worry about not having orgasms during intercourse, especially. But actually less than a third of women are reliably orgasmic from penetration alone. The reason? Intercourse is not a very good way to stimulate the clitoris, and the clitoris is, for most women, the hokey pokey: it’s what it’s all about.

So when in doubt, add clitoral stimulation, whether it’s with your hand, your partner’s hand, a vibrator, your pubic bones pressing together, whatever.

6. They’re not taking enough time.

It can take anywhere from a few minutes to most of an hour to have an orgasm (20 minutes is typical, longer is totally normal). Orgasms are like childbirth: they take as long as they take, and each one is different.

7. Their partner is in the room – or their partner isn’t in the room.

Or generally they’re in a physical environment where, instead of being able to go all mushy-brained and just celebrate the sensations in their bodies, they’re distracted by thoughts like, “What if this is taking too long?” or “What if my partner is bored?” or “What if I’m not even doing this right?” or any of the million other ways that they might be self-monitoring instead of paying attention to pleasure and allowing that pleasure to grow. This also includes potential unwanted consequences that come with a partner, such as risk of STI transmission or unwanted pregnancy.

8. They’re still recovering from trauma.

When sex has been used as a weapon against a woman, her brain learns that sexy things (things that activate the accelerator) can also be threats, things that hit the brakes. Given that a conservative estimate is that one in five women has experienced sexual violence, this applies to a whole lot of women.

Healing from trauma takes patience, self-compassion, and opportunities to experience sexual pleasure in contexts where you feel safe inside your own body. Start on your own, figuring out what you want and what your body needs. Once you learn to feel pleasure while you feel safe in your body, you can then add a partner if you like.

9. They’re worried about their body or the sin they are about to commit.

Even more common than trauma are the body-shaming cultural messages that distract women’s attention. The bible say this , the bible says that. Some are just with terrible self esteem. They’re thinking about how their face looks or what the fat on their belly is doing whether or not their cellulite is noticeable. The question to ask yourself when these thoughts emerges is, “Why does it matter?” No really. Why?

Answer: because we’ve been taught that only women with “flawless” bodies are allowed to enjoy sex, and if we make faces or have fat on our bodies or otherwise “fall short,” then enjoying sex is against the rules. We have been taugh that self exploration is wrong right from birth. About how God hates sex. This is bullshit immediatly one gets married legally. unfortunatly most women do not shed these philosophy with ease. It takes time and practice to replace those self-critical thoughts with affection for your body, but the benefits extend far beyond having more and better orgasms.

10. They’re worried about their orgasm.

Oh, the irony. Perhaps the most common difficulty faced by women who struggle with orgasm is the tendency to worry about orgasm, even as their arousal increases. The more aroused they get, the closer they get to orgasm, the more they worry. “What if I don’t have an orgasm?” and “What if I do have an orgasm?” and “Will I even know if I’ve had an orgasm?” and “Are my abs supposed to be shaking like that?” and “Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? Am I sure I like how this feels?”

The solution is to notice those thoughts, let them go for now, and shift your attention, gently and neutrally, to the sensations in your body. Orgasm happens when we surrender our bodies to sexual arousal – and the best orgasms happen when we surrender in a context of trust, affection, permission, and acceptance of all the things our bodies are and do.

It’s like skipping. Once you learn how, your body never forgets. And everybody deserves a life so full of joy that they can do it when they want to.