8 Ways To Prevent Your Children From Becoming Spoiled

A spoiled child will only grow up to be a spoiled, entitled adult who believes everything should be handed freely to him/her.

These kinds of children will have a lot of difficulties with adulthood as they will believe the world should revolve around them, and when they do not get what they want, they end up acting out, making them unlikely to be useful members of the society. No one wants to parent such a child, but with the right tips and tricks, you should be able to bring up a well-grounded and disciplined child. Your child(ren) will thank you for it.

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Set Rules: No home or part of a society can exist without rules. Rules are made to keep you disciplined and grounded. They are supposed to help those around you as well as yourself. One of the first things a child will be introduced to in terms of discipline, is rules. We tell toddlers not to hit, bite, etc. We teach our little kids to say “please” and “thank you”. These are rules to prepare them for the bigger rules the society has. So make sure you make rules specific to your homes and begin to enforce them as early as you can. Long before they can talk, children are learning what is acceptable and what is not, so never assume they are too young to be trained.

Give Them Responsibilities: It is important to imbibe the spirit of responsibility in children as early as possible. Even as young as age 2, give your children something in the house that they are solely responsible for, for example, have them pick up their toys at the end of the day. You supervise them if needed, but make sure they do the work. Do not have someone else do it unless it is needed. As they grow older, make sure they have responsibilities and make it clear that no one else will do it if they do not. Even if you have help, make sure your child(ren)’s responsibilities always remain theirs. It teaches them that every member of the society is responsible for certain things and they should never expect someone else to take over their responsibilities from them.

Be Consistent: Children learn better through consistency. Do not punish them for something today and ignore the same offence the next day because you are busy, or because you are outside of the home. They need to understand that rules are rules, wherever and whenever. You will only cause them to be confused if you are not consistent with what you consider is punishable. We all know how the society works, you will always face consequences, regardless of how many times you do something. So, prepare your children for the future by making sure they know this now.

Make Them Understand Consequences: No child should be brought up without understanding that every single action brings about consequences. Good action means good results and bad behaviour means bad consequences. Make them understand this simple life rule as it will certainly protect them in future.

Tell Them Where They Went Wrong: A lot of parents are so focused on the punishing that they forget that sometimes, children do not understand where they went wrong. After punishing your children, make sure you have a talk with them and let them know why you had to punish them. They are more likely to remember your words than the punishment they received. If, for instance, you punish your little child for going near fire. You need to explain to him/her that you only did this so they know that fire hurts people and you love them too much to want them hurt. This is also away to reestablish your bond, since there is a likelihood that your child might feel resentful after being punished. It reminds them that you love them and all you do is for their own good.

Praise Them When They Get It Right: You should also remember to reward good behaviour. A parent who only focuses on his/her child’s bad behaviour would only lead the child to grow up thinking that all they do is wrong. They feel unwanted and do not have security or confidence in themselves. This is also no way to raise a child. If you make a big deal when they do something wrong, it is only fair you make that big a deal when they do something right. Praise them or reward them, so they are more inclined to keep doing the right things.

Use Different Punishment Methods: In Nigeria, most parent use only corporal punishment as a way to enforce behaviour, but this could have a negative effect. If a child grows up thinking the only repercussions to misbehaving is being hit by his/her parents, he/she will not have a very good understanding of the world. If you choose to go with corporal punishment, you should also blend it with other punishment methods. One good way to reach a child is when you take away something they love for a while when they do something wrong. Since this is usually how the world works (something being taken away from you when you do wrong, such as your job, freedom, etc) it makes them better prepared.

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Let Them Go Without: You should not bring up a child by giving the child every thing he/she wants. Since no human being can never be truly satisfied, providing their every single want is certainly a slippery slope. A mother once told her child, when he was screaming and throwing a tantrum over wanting a new toy, that she is only required to provide him a  shelter, food to eat, clothing and education. She added that every other things like toys or gift, are only given from the goodness and generousity of her heart and that he should be grateful. The child instantly wrote a letter, apologizing to his mother and thanking her for the things he already has. The point here is that, a child who is given everything will always want more and they will always assume they deserve it. You do not want them growing up feeling this way. Give what you can, depending on your generousity and instead, focus on providing what they actually need such as a stable home, loving parents, education, etc.

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